can i escape from reality?
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
scream until your heart stops
obviously i am still completely in love with this song. i kinda wish i could scream my heart out, but i am not sure anyone would really care or listen. it would be like that tree that falls in the forest but did it really make a noise? or whatever i am not making much sense, i haven't lately. my thoughts all jumbled into a big mess. i could blame it on stress but eh what is the point in blaming, because it is still going to be there later so might as well just find some courage and stick up to it. hmmmm maybe i should take my own advice...well i am going to soon, i promised that i would. well i hope i can find enough courage to do this, and so much more.
i wish they would leave, they don't love us, they don't even like us. they are just selfish, trying to make their guilty consensuses better. well you want to know what leave us the fuck alone we have enough shit to deal with, you aren't making anything better. you just sit there and watch with your judgmental eyes. feeding upon the hate, slowly letting your time drop to zero so you can blow up in our faces. moping around the house all day waiting for our arrival home, it use to be a sanctuary, a paradise from all the drama, but now it isn't, i have lost my sanctuary. it doesn't exist anymore. and you, i wasn't about to forget about you. wanting so much from us, yes we aren't perfect. but we sure as hell try. and it isn't good enough so you kill us with your hateful words. crush our hopes and dreams. when will you learn, you can't control us, you are the reason we fight, we strive for your attention. well i have given up on all of that, i have swallowed my pride for the time being, expected all the hate that rolls off your tongue, and i don't strive for your attention, that is the last thing i want right now.
i wish they would leave, they don't love us, they don't even like us. they are just selfish, trying to make their guilty consensuses better. well you want to know what leave us the fuck alone we have enough shit to deal with, you aren't making anything better. you just sit there and watch with your judgmental eyes. feeding upon the hate, slowly letting your time drop to zero so you can blow up in our faces. moping around the house all day waiting for our arrival home, it use to be a sanctuary, a paradise from all the drama, but now it isn't, i have lost my sanctuary. it doesn't exist anymore. and you, i wasn't about to forget about you. wanting so much from us, yes we aren't perfect. but we sure as hell try. and it isn't good enough so you kill us with your hateful words. crush our hopes and dreams. when will you learn, you can't control us, you are the reason we fight, we strive for your attention. well i have given up on all of that, i have swallowed my pride for the time being, expected all the hate that rolls off your tongue, and i don't strive for your attention, that is the last thing i want right now.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
first blog...not a happy one
so the other night i was playing guitar hero with a friend and this song came on. i have completely forgotten about this song, it got deleted a few years ago off my computer. but i thought it was so pretty that i was going to re-download it and make it my new obsession. well i have, memorized the lyrics, dissected them, and now related to them.
the first few times i listened to it, it was just a very deep, pretty song, with some meaning but not a lot. now when i listen to it, i cry a little bit each time. i relate to it tooo much i just...i don't know it probably isn't healthy that i am have it on repeat and have listened to it like 15 times already (just today)
today wasn't that horrible of a day, actually i had a lot of fun going to the mall. getting gifts from my little brothers for christmas, personally i love giving gifts, going shopping, putting thought into what you should get that person, and then finally giving it to them and watching their reaction especially when you put a lot of thought into it. it just makes me feel wonderful, i think that is why i love christmas, the happiness and joy (it is in 18 days!!!!!!) but this year i am not looking forward to it...at all.
this is the song i was talking about...it would mean a lot to me if you listened to it. (i am not sure if i did this right...probably not whatever if you want to listen to the song it is rooftops by lostprophets)
the first few times i listened to it, it was just a very deep, pretty song, with some meaning but not a lot. now when i listen to it, i cry a little bit each time. i relate to it tooo much i just...i don't know it probably isn't healthy that i am have it on repeat and have listened to it like 15 times already (just today)
today wasn't that horrible of a day, actually i had a lot of fun going to the mall. getting gifts from my little brothers for christmas, personally i love giving gifts, going shopping, putting thought into what you should get that person, and then finally giving it to them and watching their reaction especially when you put a lot of thought into it. it just makes me feel wonderful, i think that is why i love christmas, the happiness and joy (it is in 18 days!!!!!!) but this year i am not looking forward to it...at all.
this is the song i was talking about...it would mean a lot to me if you listened to it. (i am not sure if i did this right...probably not whatever if you want to listen to the song it is rooftops by lostprophets)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
