I have an addiction.

And the first step is admitting I have a problem.

Yup, I am addicting to trying to look perfect. I want perfect skin, a perfect body, perfect hair, I just want to look perfect, and guess what I am probably going to kill myself trying to do it, or annoy the shit out of people. I have tried sooo many skin products to even count anymore. I have finally discovered the beauty in waxing and holy shit I love it! Now I just need to lose some weight and get rid of my fucking acne.

As hair as my hair goes I love, love, LOVE changing it. So I am going to continue with that. I might be a ginger next. God I love gingers, anywho but yeah I have a problem and I don't know how to fix it.

Just look into the crystal ball and see your future

Well to be quite frank I don't see myself as having much of future. I mean I haven't any idea what I am going to do after I get out of school which is less than two fucking years! (where did the time go?) The only little bit of future I see is me living in a run down apartment, barely making the rent each month, and having one friend, a little cat. That is all I see. No friends, shitty job, (oh but multiple shitty jobs) just drinking every night trying to forget what a waste of space I am.

College life, haha, I don't see it. Married life, fuck that. I am not meant to have a happy, princess ending. I am just going to go out, without anyone watching or caring.

Singing rocks speak a true message

What is love? Is it real? Is it only a silly fantasy that Disney made to sell movies? Is it for everyone?

I haven't a clue in the world. But as I hang out with kids who say they are in love and have been in relationships for months and years I start to question. So many questions that I cannot even word. I see my friends who are romantic and they treat there girlfriends in the best way. Is it too much to ask to have that type of attention for even 5 minutes? I think so. Because all the attention I get is, oh hot damn! You down to fuck?!?!?! In all honesty do I look like I am going to fuck any guy that comes and talks to me? Am I that desperate looking? Or do I just look like a straight up slut? I don't know.