If I screamed out, would anyone hear me?

I feel what a million other people feel. I feel alone. Pathetic. Worthless. I haven't honestly felt this way in such a long time. I was so happy and chipper, what happened? Why am I so depressed all of a sudden? Yes I am honestly say depressed. I actually do feel like slipping back into old habits again and maybe even the final jump. Because to be quite honest how many people would really care? Not many.

I have learned that people just use you. They only act like they enjoy your company and conversations, until they finally are done with. And it isn't as simple as tossing something into the trash either. Nope, these people spit you up and leave in the most horrible way imaginable. Either it being pure evil, humiliating, or a combination of the two. I honestly hate most people there are very few that I can tolerate. And for some reason people don't understand this concept. If I don't want to talk or I am ignoring you, take a hint.

With that said I hate, hate people touching me. And I know damn right why I hate people touching me. One of my friends laughed as I told her the story because it happened to someone else we knew and the fact that I even attempted to trust this person was stupid. Yes I realize this now. But because of the whole situation I don't let many people touch me. If you haven't noticed, I cringe when most people do. Hello? If I am trying to get away from you when you attempt to touch get the fuck away from me.

I just really, really hate people. And yes because of my thoughts like these ultimately it is going to be my own fault that I will be alone forever, but at the same time it is other people's faults. I have tried and tried so many times to like people, but I always get hurt. So I am done trying. Yes I have become more of a bitch lately because that's the only way I know who to protect myself now. Because ultimately everyone is out to hurt you in one way or another.