Wow

I am 16 years old and I have seen so much but at the same time I have seen nothing.

I am 16 years old and I have been through so much but at the same time I have been through nothing.

I am 16 years old and I am not your typical teen but at the same time I am.

Lately so much has happened. It's hard to believe everything that is happening. I think about things too much and realize that I have changed, I have been changed. I am not sure if it's for the good yet or not. I am not sure of much. It's just right now I really want someone to tell me that they care and I can just cry on there shoulder. It seems that there aren't that many people that I can do that with anymore. I mean I lost one of the most important people in my life the other day. And no I am not okay. It still hurts so much. I miss him so much and I want him back.

I have so much to say but I don't even know anymore if it's worth saying. But hey that's why I have you blog.

I realize that people hurt me, a lot. And you want to know what I do....nothing. I go back to them. I tell them that it's okay but in all honesty I am still crying on the inside. I have been dealing with the pain in ways. But I like to keep that a secret. But to reassure anyone reading this, I don't hurt myself. I don't want to anymore. That was a mistake starting that habit in the first place, I will be forever haunted by those scars and I am not proud.

Maybe I am just a coward. I would like to believe I am strong but I really am not.